IMHO: With lips but half regretful. Eating a whole Lemon

Justin Heideman "Sad Lemon"

While searching for ways to alleviate cold symptoms, I came across a "cure". Eat a whole lemon. When I researched this further, I found another account of how by eating a lemon in its entirety, seeds and all, you can get rid of any cold. Hmmm... sounds like a challenge.

Being at work, I rushed down to the cafeteria, and asked to speak to the chef. Yes, we have a chef in our caf. Foreign Affairs has its perks. He confusedly handed over the lemon and I rushed back to my office.

Here's what happened.



Where to start?
It needs to be washed. I have no clue where it's been, and if I'm going to eat the entire thing then it had better be clean.
 Secondly, some water. Actually, plenty of water.

10:05 a.m.
The first bite goes rather well. Childhood memories of fresh lemonade on hot summer days and later memories of lemon squares and americanos come flooding back. With successive bites, the feeling fades fast. The rind is hard and the oils burn my tongue to numbness. The fragrance is amazing but offers little comfort. Water is the only thing that helps. The process so far is slow going.

10:12 a.m.
I decide to take a break from the rind. I’ve already decided to skip the pith, which is bitter and not terribly high in nutrients so I move on to the pulp. Ugh. Not easy. My eyes water and my first instinct is to spit it out. I fight back the urge to gag that comes from the first bite into each segment. I end up swallowing the segments nearly whole and chasing them with water. By the fifth segment I have the urge to gag under control and I can chew a segment without water. I thought the seeds would be an issue, but I’m so focussed on getting the segments down my throat as fast as possible without incident, that I hardly notice them. With three segments left I return my attention to the rind.

10:19 a.m.
 I’m not sure which is worse. The rind seems even bitterer than before. My lips begin to feel itchy and I notice something else. For the first time in two days I can breathe. I celebrate the arrival of the last segment (in actuality two segments which refuse to separate) and so conclude the episode that was the lemon.

In the end:
Eating the lemon was such great punishment that perhaps, that’s the reason I feel better. Anything seems better after eating a lemon. Only time will tell. The rind is reputed to have more nutritional value than the fruit, so that explains the logic behind that, and the juice of lemon does help soothe a cold when added to a hot beverage.

FYI: I did read numerous threads that said the oils in the rind of lemon can strip the enamel on your teeth. Not so good. So I rinsed with plenty of cold water after finishing the lemon.  Try not to let the rind touch your lips or the corners of you mouth and you won’t have to deal with the itchiness.

Afterword: Though the lemon did help more than anything else, my cough persisted several days later, but not nearly as terrible as it was when it started.